Throughout the years of SHS history, countless teachers and students have come and gone. They have learned, taught, mentored, and many have even formed lifelong friendships. Above it all, one aspect of the inhabitants of SHS has remained constant: we work together and build each other up.
Despite this, many students are dying to know what would happen if, well, things were a little different… What I mean to say is, what would be the outcome of an all-out faculty brawl? I’m talking about a no rules, fistfight to the death, biting, scratching, kicking type of fight — nothing but primal instinct.
In order to determine the answer to this priceless question, we, at the Senator, have formulated a foolproof algorithm for calculating the results of such a tussle (for convenience sake, we will be assuming that the teachers have maintained enough civility to agree to fighting in a single-elimination tournament). In order to accurately represent the SHS faculty as a whole, the following pairs of teachers have been selected for the program:
Ms. Koen vs Mr. Kyes
Mr. Moransky vs Mr. Taylor
Ms. Eslahi vs Mr. Mittelstaedt
Ms. Negele vs Mr. Gully
There is much speculation as to how this tournament will play out. Senior Jimmy Riemer and Junior Olivia Santos have provided their opinions on the matter by filling out brackets, with Jimmy declaring Kyes the victor and Olivia declaring Taylor the victor. Their brackets are included below.
Who is correct? Will Kyes claim the throne of glory? Will Taylor win the day? Or will someone else rise victorious?
Due to the massive amount of data involved in these calculations, the true victor will take a few weeks for our supercomputers to determine. Stay tuned for the next installment of Teacher Fights.